Knights Out

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Kiss and Don’t Tell
Written by Tom Jones  
Tuesday, 10 November 2009 13:15
Tom Jones talks to the men and women who serve under the US military’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy.

The Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy (DADT) and the threat of being discharged if one’s sexuality is disclosed means the experience of gay service members in the US military is a story untold.

One female Second Lieutenant currently serving in the US Army Engineers Branch illustrates the inescapable pressure gay service members endure. She asked that her name not be disclosed.

“The military entails so much more than a workplace environment,” she says. “It essentially becomes a lifestyle. The people you work with are the same people that you deploy with to Iraq or Afghanistan and spend almost every moment with for 12 to 15 months straight.

“Throughout a deployment, the soldiers you serve shoulder-to-shoulder with become your family, but they still have no idea about an entire part of your life. It becomes incredibly difficult to hide and lie about the person you love – the person you left behind that the military neither recognizes nor cares about – to defend your own country.”

Even when not on deployment, the pressure persists. This female Second Lieutenant describes how gay service members arrive at “banquets, dinners, and Family Readiness Group meetings alone because they cannot be open about their partner or are afraid of the implications of bringing them to unit functions.”

Eric Shangle is a Naval Academy graduate and member of USNA Out, an organization of US Naval Academy alumni dedicated to supporting the mission of the US Naval Academy and providing a network for GLBT USNA alumni. He describes how discrimination extends beyond the DADT policy. Routine operations, including donating blood, add another layer of mental anguish for gay service members. “Each command was required to participate in blood donations. As a gay sailor I was put in an awkward position by not participating. I knew that gay men were not supposed to give blood; however, I was not able to tell my command or the blood bank this information, due to fear of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.”

Jeff Voigt, who was awarded the Silver Star for Bravery and served for 20 years in the US Army, including tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, does not expect there to be a huge coming out movement when DADT is lifted – as promised by President Obama. “The military is a very conservative culture and I think that most gays will remain in the closet, but won’t have to worry about getting kicked out if they are ‘outed’.”

Voigt believes gay service members will continue to suffer discrimination by fellow service members. “I think there will still be a fear that there will be more subtle forms of discrimination by those who are not tolerant.”

There are still large numbers of intolerant service members, as indicated by Sue Fulton, a former US Army Captain and communications director for Knights Out – an organisation of West Point Military Academy Alumni united in supporting the rights of soldiers to serve openly. Fulton cited a recent poll showing that 75 per cent of military members say they are ‘comfortable’ with gays and lesbians, though not all are in favour of changing the policy.

Fulton has observed that younger soldiers are leaning against the policy.

“They have had personal experience coming to know gays and lesbians as colleagues and friends. They see the policy as outdated and unnecessary.”